By Jasmina Nogo
Carrboro Commons Staff Writer

Counselors at Carrboro High School assist their students in times of grief, crisis and confusion. Although there isn’t a formal grief counseling program yet, the first student support group will meet on Oct. 7.

Although they go about their normal days as they always have, students at Carrboro High School, particularly seniors who knew Chapel Hill High School’s football player, Atlas Fraley, are seeking more and more grief counseling and support. A new grief support group initiative is starting in early October, led by a Duke Community Bereavement Services specialist.

Staff Photo by Jasmina Nogo

The tragic death of Chapel Hill High School’s defensive lineman, Atlas Fraley, only two weeks before school started, affected the lives of many students who went to school with Fraley before they transferred to Carrboro High.

“We started to have enough students suffering and decided that this would be appropriate for a group, if they’re interested,” said Linda Bos, student assistance program counselor at CHS.

With only 770 students and no formalized grief support, the counselors at CHS are not set up for such long-term treatment, Bos said. Students who require ongoing treatment are usually referred out.

However, this year Bos has been in contact with William Holloman, from the Duke Bereavement Community Center in Hillsborough, and the counselors are planning for him to offer a grief support group to students who are interested.

The group is due to start in early October and will meet for approximately six weeks, with availability for continued meetings if needed.

“The group is intended to give teens an opportunity to sit with each other and talk about what it felt like to lose someone to death,” Holloman said.
The grief support group will give students an alternative for dealing with their problems.

“People deal differently with grief. They could be fine at school and show no indications,” Bos said.

The Kubler-Ross grief model, Bos said, is used by many psychologists in dealing with grief.

According to Changingminds.org, the model was introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying.” It describes an oscillating cycle of emotional states that is often referred to as the “Grief Cycle.” The emphasis of this model is that sufferers of grief may be at any of several stages of dealing with their grief – shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing or acceptance – and that therapists and counselors must be aware of the effects of these stages.

Molly Acuff, 17, a senior at CHS from Massachusetts, is familiar with the emotional support the counselors provide.

“They’re really good at responding to students’ needs, whatever they are,” she said.

“The door to the counselors’ office is open whenever students need help.”

Several of Acuff’s friends are seeking grief support from the school’s counselors due to Fraley’s death. She said the counselors are incredibly devoted to helping these students deal with their pain.

“I think that it’s made things a lot easier at Carrboro High, especially this year,” Acuff said.

“Our school has had a tense environment, and our counselors make things better.”

Students come to counselors on their own or are referred to them by teachers, faculty, administrators, parents and peers. The counselors try to involve as many people who are part of the student’s life to provide a collective support effort.

“All of the counselors try to involve parents as much as possible when needed so that all are on the same page, especially when a student is dealing with social-emotional issues, such as grief,” Bos said.

CHS has various counseling positions and each counselor is trained to deal with their area of expertise. Bos is a licensed clinical social worker and has been prepared for social-emotional counseling through her training.

“I’ve had several students who have suffered a significant loss in their lives,” she said.

“Many students come to our attention for other reasons, and then we discover that there is underlying grief.”

“To talk openly about something as serious as death is something students aren’t given the opportunity to do that often,” Holloman said.

Through the Student Support Team, counselors hold individual sessions with students to ascertain needs and work with teachers and parents to come up with strategies and “wrap-around” support tailored to each student, Bos said.

A friend of Acuff’s, whom students refer to as “Fire,” sought grief counseling from the school’s counselors. They became so involved with his problems and needs that they took him shopping and bought him a new outfit to cheer him up, said Acuff.

“They’re deeply involved with their students. It’s not just a job for them,” she said.

Whether through group therapy, individual sessions, or referrals to outside professionals, students at Carrboro High are getting the attention they seek.